And so a tribute to Costco the Conundrum.
· Extra wide parking spaces and two-seater carts
· Employees with a strong collective sense of customer service and personal hygiene
· Dunford Donuts *
· The flowers—cheap enough that Wade often brings them home, abundant enough that walking through them this morning I felt like Eliza Doolittle
* see also Costco, The Devil
Costco, The Devil:
· Dunford Donuts
· Annual rebate check sent attached to annual renewal notice, often the amounts are the same
· The tower of chocolate delights in December that displays gym memberships in January (this is not nearly as cruel as the kitschy lingerie displays Wal-Mart now has up in place of last month’s marshmallow snowmen)
· Because I remember I need toothpaste while I’m there, what could cost $1.97 sets me back $19.97
Is Costco a merciless mercantile machine that singlehandedly creates and fulfills my desires, or is it just offering a helping hand as I navigate the inevitable spending of a middle-class American family?
Whichever it is, I’m sure to end up there again soon. But I’ll be armed with a force more powerful than the world’s collective marketing genius—my agency. And a cheap soda.


I'm beguiled by Costco's sweet siren song all too often. I could drop $5K in there without breaking a sweat...and that would just be on the hand-dipped chocolate bars rolled in almonds...mmmmmm, heavenly. I guess my vote is for angel.
ReplyDeleteI definitely have mixed feelings about Costco. There's the elation of getting 10 pounds of broccoli for $4, and then there's the guilt of throwing away most of that broccoli when it rots before we can eat it fast enough. Its giant portions of diapers and chocolate chips have certainly made motherhood a bit easier for me.
ReplyDeletei can't leave that place for under $300.
ReplyDeleteand oh man, dunford donuts. so dang good.
As Aunt Chris says, "let's go to Costco and get our $100.00 gallon of milk". You can never get out of there for less than that.
ReplyDeleteBut my favorite Costco memory comes from your Scotty. At age four the Grams asked him if he'd been to Disneyland when he gave me a pencil with a Mickey Mouse topper for Christmas. "No", he answered with a smile on his face. "But I've been to Costco", he answered triumphantly.
So for all of us who can't get to Disneyland on a regular basis, Costco offers some of those same delights - like the macadamia nut carmel clusters. *I've checked, they really are a bargain!
We don't have a Costco here, so there is no temptation. We do have a store called Wegman's which has made me delirious (and convinced that I really do need $15.00 Havardi cheese).
ReplyDeleteEnough of that. I really just needed to say that the word choice here is absolutely delicious. I would give you a 5 the 6-trait scale.
I have a Sam's membership, but it sounds just the same as Costco. I bought a container of taco season that promises me seasoned tacos for the rest of my life. It feels like magic.
ReplyDeleteBut what I really want to say is how beautifully written this little Costco essay is! You are such a talented writer! (I tried to say that and not sound gushy, but it's not working, so gushy it is).